feminism and Dating

So many people have totally misunderstood the term “feminism”. It is more worrying when a fellow woman says she is “anti-feminist”. Do realise that she does not say this merely because she is but because she has misunderstood the term. Same applies to certain men. They don’t acknowledge feminism because they think women are in a riot of taking their tittle. They forget that there are two sides on a coin. If we have patriarchy then allow the existence of feminism too. It can only be that fair. Failure to have this means failing to acknowledge and implement “equality”

It is hard for a strong independent woman to have a partner that is not intimidated by her power. Even studies have proven that. This exists more in black society. The root of this problem is ” culture”. Laws get amended and some gets ceased time and again but it seems like culture,which is often referred to as “tradition” will never come to that level. I often hear people say “..because it is our tradition” when I question certain things. It appears more to me as a “system”. Something that is designed  to remain a certain way without being questioned.

Women are getting tired of assuring men that they are not in this feminism circle to steal their tittle. They are getting tired of having to keep up with men who always nurse their patriarchal ego by stepping on their toes. Why is it difficult for men to know and actually believe that she can be a hard working badass woman at work and still come home to be a down to earth obedient partner?

So many people have mistaken feminism as “hate towards men”. Feminists don’t hate men. They actually do love men. Some men believe that a woman does not have to work. They believe that her office is a kitchen. They believe that her work is to bath kids and make sure they eat. Do believe me that one of those kids is a man. Her man. He has to eat too. His clothes must always be ready and clean. Its weird how she is also expected to nurse him in the bedroom. Not because she is in a mood but because she has to take care of her partner.

What if he believed that his woman can actually work and come home to do all these chores with him helping her? What if he believed that he can bath the kids while she is cooking or vise versa? What if he happened to get it when she says “babe today I am tired so can we just cuddle”? What if he believed that she is not the only one who has to strip down and provide satisfaction? What if he believed that sex was made for two and he must provide satisfaction too?What if he believed that she can earn more that him and have no problem? As long as she is obedient about it? What if he knew that even if she is a boss at work,she can still come home and give him a space to be a leader of the house.Not because she can’t be one but because she respects him enough to allow him to be her leader?

What if men stopped using pick up lines like ” I am the one you saw driving this car the other day,I am a director of this firm and I saw you so I ….,my friend who owns this and that wants to speak to you,hey babe this is my friend. The one I said drives this and that”? To be honest this introduction annoys some women.Most feminists are actually attracted by a hardworking man’s struggles. If you have been wondering why your rich lines have not been working on certain women then you got the answer. It is because your are marketing yourself with something that they probably have. You can actually date her without attaching your price tags as a marketing tool.

People need to know that feminism and dating does not contradict or oppose each other. It is up two people to make it work. Same goes to those women who claims they are anti-feminists. They call themselves with this tittle because they settle for what they are given by men. They use this tittle because they are lazy. I don’t have a problem with women who have decided not to work. It’s their decision. They should know that he will get tired of splitting his salary with her when she is not bringing anything to the table. He will get tired if being asked ” why is the table empty” when he is the one who bought that table. I have seen women stay in abusive relationships and marriages just because the abuser is a provider.These women often sugarcoat this abuse by saying ” I am staying only because of our kids” or ” I love him”. They would not be thinking this way if they were feminists.

It’s OK to be a feminist and its super great to date one. Bob Marley once said “emancipate yourself from mental slavery. Non but ourselves can free our minds”. Having quoted that, it is clear that an opposition of feminism and dating can be put to end only if men and women started to nod to the existence of feminism just  as much as they do to patriarchy.

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